Here’s one of the nubs of this exploration: how does our society see grandmothers, and what will I make of it? Maureen says I don’t fit the profile; what’s the profile?
The general image of a grandmother is probably of a smiley, grey-haired, slightly plump woman wearing a flowery dress and an apron, with ever-open arms and freshly-baked biscuits in the cupboard. It’s a lovely image, but whose grandmother is really like that?
The grandmothers I know are lively, busy, purposeful. They have full lives and aren’t defined by their grandchildren. My guess is that they’re better grandparents as a result.
Both of my grandmothers were smiley and owned tempting biscuit tins. But when I was growing up they were both working full-time; they wore smart suits to work (slacks at the weekend); and only one had grey hair.
I enjoyed discovering Raging Grannies (http://raginggrannies.org/) - a non-violent protest group, exposing corruption and opposing war. They dress ‘like innocent little old ladies’ – as they describe it, ‘outrageous flowery hats, and colourful costumes including aprons and rose-coloured running shoes’. I can see it would work on a demo (and I’m all for a good demo) but I’m not sure it’s the image I’m going to adopt when I’m a grandmother.
What was your grandmother like? What sort of grandmother are you?
Juliet, it strikes me that you don't have to do anything or change in any way (you are allowed to,but you don't have to..). Provided all goes well you will become a grandmother. You don't have to knit anything, or wear anything different. It isn't you who is defined by grandmotherlyness - it is the other way round, if anything.
ReplyDeleteMy grandmothers were both - well, dead. And I'll never be a grandmother myself, though there is a possibility that I'll be a grandfather. Leaving aside caricatures, my notion of grandmothers comes from all the people I have come across who are grandmothers. The only thing that they have in common, as far as I can tell, is that they are over the age of about 30, female, and someone tells me that they are grandmothers - they may even be lying, for all I know.
Now turning 50 - I can tell you something about that!